Author Topic: they are among us!!  (Read 3185 times)

lonegunman

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they are among us!!
« on: June 29, 2009, 07:03:52 PM »
Number One Idiot of 2009
>>
>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>> poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
>> caught her little daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her that the
>> ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
>> into the hospital.  She calmed down and at the end of the conversation
>> and happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat

>> in order to
>> kill the ants.  I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the
>> emergency room right away.
>>

Number Two Idiot of 2009
>>
>> Early this year, some Boeing employees decided to steal a life raft from
>> one of the 747s.  They were successful in getting it out of the plane and
>> home.  Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed
>> a
>> Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.  It turned out that the
>> chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when

>> the raft was inflated.  They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Number Three Idiot of 2009
>>
>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
>> and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'  While standing in line,
>> waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
>> had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
>> the
>> teller's window.  So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
>> to the Wells Fargo Bank.
>> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
>> Fargo
>> teller.  She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
>> wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not
>> accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
>> deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
>> deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.  He was arrested
>> a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


Number Four Idiot of 2009
>>
>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
>> of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash in a
>> bag,
>> the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
>> the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
>> cashier
>> refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'  The robber
>> said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
>> didn't believe him.
>> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
>> gave it to the clerk.  The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man
>> was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then
>> ran from the store with his loot.  The cashier promptly called the police
>> and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
>> They arrested the robber two hours later.



Idiot Number Five of 2009
>>
>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
>> revolvers.  The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner
>> moved, the startled first bandit shot him.



Idiot Number Six of 2009
>>
>> Arkansas:  Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that
>> he'd just throw a Breeze block through a liquor store window, grab some
>> booze, and run.  So he lifted the block and heaved it over his head at
>> the window.  The block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
>> the
>> liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.  The whole event was caught
>> on videotape.



Idiot Number Seven of 2009
>>
>> I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega ,Wisconsin).  We recently had a
>> new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request
>> the
>> removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road.  The reason:  'Too many
>> Deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place
>> for them to be crossing anymore.'
>>
>>
>> STAY ALERT!  They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

 check the grassy knoll
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
Oscar Wilde
When Confronted By A Difficult Problem, You Can Solve It More Easily By Reducing It To The Question, "How Would The Lone Ranger Have Handled This?

BostonGoals

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Re: they are among us!!
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2009, 07:44:33 PM »
LOL

Number 4 is funnier than number one in my opinion.

They are all excellent in fact  :D