Pilgrims' Patter
The Forum => The B-Ark => Topic started by: kingofnaves on June 21, 2010, 10:21:24 PM
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Ive enquired to a company in Basildon about ordering personalised Vuvuzelas.The colour would be yellow with the BUFC badge on the side.The only problem is that I need a minium of 100 to place an order!!!Would anybody be interested in buying one for a fiver?Could be a great atmosphere inside York street next season.
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you get shot in around 20 min lol
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BAN HIM!
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Could see a world record for the number of vuvuzelas it is possible to have shoved up an arse. On the other hand such a multi piped organ may produce a recognisable tune compared with that mono note noise coming out of SA.
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No chuffing way - the bloody things should be banned.
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you get shot in around 20 min lol
It would take that long???!!!!!!
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hope they dont catch on over here , what a din ;D
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Order me three please KON.
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you get shot in around 20 min lol
It would take that long???!!!!!!
Did i say min. i ment seconds !
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Order me three please KON.
;D
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Order me three please KON.
Well, they should sort out out any piles or prostate problem you may have.
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I'll have one.
A sure way of drowning the wifes moaning out!
Better make that 2 - just in case.
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47 upto now!
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47 upto now!
Im sure its just scare tactic lads(ladies)
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47 upto now!
If so, i see us having 47 less fans after the first 10 minutes of the new season!
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47 upto now!
If so, i see us having 47 less fans after the first 10 minutes of the new season!
In pilgrim having 47 more bed freinds
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Make it 4 please KON I,ll treat the bloke in a green hat to one.
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I'll get one
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72 now!!!
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Sorry Hugo but Royal Mail regulations stop me sending these to USA.But i could saw it in half then you could cellotape it back ;)
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I'm in the UK until mid august - we're good :)
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72 now!!!
Please someone ban you from Boston next season
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be careful where they come from !!!!!!
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No chance! Another nail in modern day football, along with sock over the knees, coloured boots, agents, diving/simulation, crap celebrations, mock tudor housing for players and shite tattoos (Glen Johnson has "everything happens for a reason" on his arm) how deep and thought provocking!! Vuvuzelas BOOOOOOOOO
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or from here!!!
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If that is full to the top, no wonder he's got a smile on his face, eat your heart out GHM.
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If someone near me blows one he will need medical assistance..
is it just coincidence that England played better the other night when they could hear the crowd singing and chanting than the previous two games when the drone of the vuvuzelas drowned the crowd out?? it sounded more like a proper crowd,how many times do managers say that the fans are a 12th man?? They can't be if they are not being heard....
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What we need is a few fans to throw them on the pitch, then they'll get banned :bunny
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Pathetic idea. Wouldnt get the rights to print the badge on them anyway.
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WHOOSH!!
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You wouldn't get in to Corby with them - they've banned them already!
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You wouldn't get in to Corby with them - they've banned them already!
And, with any luck, they will be banned at Boston too. I think the vast majority of us don't want our afternoon/evening ruined by some idiot with an IQ so low that they actually think vuvuzelas sound good standing/sitting next to us blowing the fecking thing all game long. :( :( :(
Much is made on here about the town end and the "atmosphere" that it generates. Most that stand there without vvs will walk away to another part of the ground to escape the noise of them, and in so doing the "atmosphere" that had been created in the past will have been destroyed by those idiots that think this is a good idea.
::) ::) ::)
Well done. Rant over.
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Top 10 Uses for a vuvuzelas
Cricket stumps
If you can get your hands on three vuvuzelas and set them up as stumps, you too could take part in the world's 'horniest' cricket game. Perfect for a lazy afternoon knock in the park after the World Cup has finished in South Africa.
'Yard' of ale
Obviously, this one is dependent on the length of the vuvuzela you manage to get your hands on, but if you fancy taking on the challenge then simply block off one end, load up your vuvuzela with your favourite tipple and get chugging. Obviously, we recommend soft drinks for this challenge. Not beer.
Plug the BP oil leak
If BP continues to struggle with the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, then maybe they should consider our solution* - simply build a massive vuvuzela, lower it down on top of the pipe and hey presto - one new oil well.
* We didn't say all of our alternative uses would be practical. Or realistic.
Drown out James Corden
He's here, he's there, he's everywhere - you can't hide from James Corden this summer, with appearances on Doctor Who, to his own World Cup show and even a single alongside Dizzee Rascal. If you aren't a fan of Cordon, or your name is Patrick Stewart, then simply blow your vuvuzela whenever he appears in the media. You never know, he may get the message.
Impersonating a giant bee
A simple way to terrify the general public, don your favourite bee costume (what do you mean you don't have one?), grab your vuvuzela and hit the local park for endless hours of fun.
The administration of enemas
You can thank Metro's resident Tech and Weird editor for this one. We aren't going to go into any more detail, but suffice to say we wouldn't advise searching for pictures of 'enemas'.
Ear trumpet
Many fear that fans at the World Cup will come back with hearing damage due to the incessant noise of the vuvuzela, but we think that they can be both a hearing aid and a hearing annihilator. Once your ears have been shot to pieces, simply flip your vuvuzela around and rock the old-school 'hearing trumpet' look.
Cigarette holder for the world's largest cigarette
If you want to puff away like an oversized Audrey Hepburn, then simply turn your vuvuzela into one giant cigarette holder. Unfortunately, we have no idea where you could possibly find a cigarette of a suitable size to realise this dream.
Play a Beethoven symphony
All you need is a vuvuzela orchestra, a booking at the Royal Festival Hall, wine and nibbles at the interval and, hardest of all, a willing audience.
Water flume for voles
If there's one thing voles don't have enough of, its aquatic entertainment. If you are armed with a vuvuzela, a vole, and a stream of water you can create your very own water park, just for rodents*.
* Please don't try this one, we're not actually sure if voles would appreciate a water flume.
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I love the ingenius ideas of Crazy Neil.
I sincerely hope that the Vuvuzela will be banned from all English grounds. The noise is horrendous and totally destroys the chanting of rival teams which has been such an entertaining part of English football for many years. How on earth do you hear the PA System and what about the poor Pitch Announcer competing with that row?!
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What about Health & Safety? They could be lethal if you couldn't hear an emergency announcement to clear the ground.
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And, with any luck, they will be banned at Boston too. I think the vast majority of us don't want our afternoon/evening ruined by some idiot with an IQ so low that they actually think vuvuzelas sound good standing/sitting next to us blowing the fecking thing all game long. :( :( :(
Well done. Rant over.
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Can't see them being blown too much at YS. That would entail far too much effort and down time from pie eating.
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CANCELLATION: K O N will you please cancel my order for 4 Vuvus . Martyn is on the right lines with the H&S issue . My mates sisters brother-in-law knows a bit about health and safety and claims within the confines of a place like York St the decibels could go well above the acceptable limit .
What I should do KON is tell the suppliers from Basildon to divert the order to Basilton Town , they make the bloody things let them have the noise on their own doorstep.
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Looks like the supplier has run out of stock!It seems some clown in Crawley has bought all the stock.
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Blowing his own trumpet perhaps...................?!!
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I was going to hang my vuvu on the wall, as a souvenir, but maybe there's better use for it at York St!
If it helped drown out some of the abuse directed at our players when they are going through a bad patch, then the matchday experience would be considerably improved :dan
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Good Idea EK, Can I re-order the 4 i cancelled KON.
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Keep trying to sell them 'cos I have just seen a great marketing opportunity. Anybody want to buy ear plugs. Only £1 a pair. Or you can buy ear protectors that will double as stereo headphones for only £12 a set. Another line I am thinking of is a DIY Proctologist kit for those who want to risk blowing their horn at a game. Will be available in the bar before the game. :bunny I wish I knew how to add one of those horns to the arse of this rabbit. Any ideas Ken.