Pilgrims' Patter
The Forum => The B-Ark => Topic started by: lonegunman on June 29, 2009, 07:03:52 PM
-
Number One Idiot of 2009
>>
>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>> poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
>> caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
>> ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
>> into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation
>> and happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat
>> in order to
>> kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the
>> emergency room right away.
>>
Number Two Idiot of 2009
>>
>> Early this year, some Boeing employees decided to steal a life raft from
>> one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and
>> home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed
>> a
>> Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the
>> chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when
>> the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot of 2009
>>
>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
>> and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line,
>> waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
>> had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
>> the
>> teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
>> to the Wells Fargo Bank.
>> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
>> Fargo
>> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
>> wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not
>> accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
>> deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
>> deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested
>> a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Number Four Idiot of 2009
>>
>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
>> of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
>> bag,
>> the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
>> the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
>> cashier
>> refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber
>> said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
>> didn't believe him.
>> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
>> gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man
>> was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then
>> ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
>> and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
>> They arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot Number Five of 2009
>>
>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
>> revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner
>> moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Idiot Number Six of 2009
>>
>> Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
>> he'd just throw a Breeze block through a liquor store window, grab some
>> booze, and run. So he lifted the block and heaved it over his head at
>> the window. The block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
>> the
>> liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught
>> on videotape.
Idiot Number Seven of 2009
>>
>> I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega ,Wisconsin). We recently had a
>> new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request
>> the
>> removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many
>> Deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place
>> for them to be crossing anymore.'
>>
>>
>> STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!
check the grassy knoll
-
LOL
Number 4 is funnier than number one in my opinion.
They are all excellent in fact :D