When you get to my age, every day is a good day.
Just to wake up in the morning is a bonus.
And, for your information, my departed father was certainly not an alcoholic, although I do remember him having the odd bottle of IPA at Christmas. As for abuse, verbal only.
Under-achieved? Well, old Sid Ricketts did put on my final report at BGS that I had got a lot out of school but not as much out of the classroom as he would have liked!
Since then I have graduated from the UCL with an honours degree.
UCL is the University of Country Life which means I am well able to spot cnuts like you from a mile off!