Can you imagine the sort of conditions that might be on any contract he would ask players to sign ?
1. I agree to accept, with a smile on my face, any and all verbal abuse that comes my way from the manager.
2. I promise not to try it on with his missus.
3. I will not roll over laughing when reading or listening to his press releases.
4. I will reimburse the manager for any expense he may incurr in buying brown envelopes in connection with my employ.
5. I confirm that I did not fall on my head as a baby and I am not on any form of medication which may be impairing my judgement.